Where do these customs come from? I read the other day that the ritual of the shower is hundreds of years old. As the story goes, a poor girl could not get married to her sweetheart because she did not have the means to start her own household. So her friends stepped in. They invited her to a party and "showered" her with household items.

The origin of the bachelorette party is the bachelor party. The day before the wedding was the groom's one last opportunity to celebrate without the responsibility of being a married man. "Get me to the church on time," sings Eliza's father in My Fair Lady. In fact, bringing the groom and the ring to the altar is the primary responsibility of the best man.

Today, with friends living all over the US and even abroad, these parties are a time to get together and have your friends meet each other before the wedding. The events should be full of laughter and sharing as they lead up to the big celebration, the wedding. The get-togethers are not about spending money, but rather about the warm and fuzzy feeling of being in a circle of friends. If your friends have to worry about how to survive your wedding, they won't have a good time. Please be considerate! A potluck party with shared recipes can be as much fun as the finest catered party in the most expensive hotel. Please remember: True friends are very precious but not necessarily the ones who can afford your expensive taste.