For many brides who have never undertaken the task of inviting 100 or more guests to an event, the challenge of creating an invitation can be daunting. So many rules, so many variations, where to start?

The Basics
The core elements of a wedding invitation are simple. Traditionally, they comprise an invitation card and outer envelope; a reception card (if the reception is to take place at a different location), and a reply card and reply envelope. In today’s world of geographically dispersed family members and friends, it’s also quite helpful to include a map and directions card. As a final touch, many brides also choose to send a Save-the-Date card, mailed six months before the wedding.

What to include
The invitation itself should be very simple and contain basic information:

CONTEMPORARY
Together with their families
Elizabeth Wren Harper
and
Robert Andrew Liske
warmly invite you to share
in the celebration of their marriage

Saturday, the tenth of May
two thousand and eight
at four o’clock
Julia Morgan Ballroom
San Francisco, California

Dinner and dancing to follow

TRADITIONAL
Mr. and Mrs. Gregory Thompson (the hosts, often parents of the bride)
Request the honour of your presence (or “honor” for less formal invitations)
at the marriage of their daughter
Elizabeth Wren
to
Mr. Robert Andrew Liske
Saturday, the tenth of May
two thousand and eight
at four o’clock
Julia Morgan Ballroom
San Francisco, California

Dinner and dancing to follow

Brides often ask if the zip code should be included for guests’ convenience in downloading directions from the Internet. This information is not typically included and diminishes the elegance of the invitation. However, it is appropriate to include it on the map and directions card.

The reply should include a deadline (two weeks before the event date), and space for guests to write their names (and a meal choice, if required).

The favour of a reply is requested by April 26 (or “favor” for less formal invitations)

M_______________
______ Accepts with delight
______ Declines with regret

“Number of guests” is both unnecessary (a well-mannered guest will know that the invitation is for the addressees) and potentially dangerous (an invited guest may conclude that you are encouraging him or her to bring children or additional guests). Don’t be afraid to have a little fun with wording. “Accepts with pleasure” and “Declines with regret” are traditional, but “Putting on my dancing shoes” and “Sorry to miss the fun” can be festive and different.

Leave awkward details to word of mouth
The two most frequently asked questions I receive about invitations are about gifts and children. For these topics, I defer to Emily Post. Printing registry information on the invitation is essentially directing guests about where you would prefer gifts to be purchased and is therefore considered to be in poor taste. Wedding websites and word of mouth (via parents, the wedding party and other close friends) are excellent solutions for making this information known. If you prefer not to have children at your event, word of mouth or your wedding website are also good solutions to this issue.

Make it personal
To bring a personal touch to your invitation, you need look no further for inspiration than your everyday life. Consider personal hobbies, interests and experiences that you share with your fiancé. Do you enjoy hiking, cycling, or painting? Are you both passionate about food, wine, or ice hockey? Did you meet at summer camp? Anything and everything can become a personal inspiration for your wedding.

When Viola first came to me to help her plan her wedding, she knew two things for certain: She favored a less traditional event (a simple outdoor ceremony and reception in the wine country), and she wanted to include her favorite childhood book, Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird,” as the theme.

After re-reading the book and working with Viola, a few ideas surfaced. Viola’s love of literature and the book’s subtle themes of discovery, simplicity and childhood memories became a springboard for us. Knowing that the wedding would be less formal, incorporating birds, feathers and nests into the design seemed appropriate, personal and fun.

Viola brought a twist to her Save-the-Date announcement by sending a personalized bookmark, asking guests to “Bookmark the date.” The invitation was letter-press printed, to add a bit of formality, and took inspiration from traditional book plates. To simplify things, a “meal ticket” card was included with the invitation for guests who were also invited to the rehearsal dinner. 

To complete the theme, the invitation was mailed in a box with penny candy and a miniature toy. Instead of a map and directions card, a “Rockingchair Bookclub” poster was custom designed and included a map, information about things to do in the Napa area, and fun details about the couple. To add a final touch of whimsy, Viola opted for very fun and bold comic book hero stamps.

Credits:
Invitation design: Chewing the Cud (www.chewingthecud.com)
Photography: Viola Sutanto, Anna Kuperberg