Here in the San Francisco Bay Area we are blessed with having immigrants from so many countries. Their different customs, often included in wedding ceremonies, portray their fascinating cultures. The Chinese Tea ceremony is one of them. Drinking tea at Chinese weddings is comparable to champagne toasts in the West.Honoring ancestors and family elders is very important in the Chinese culture, which is apparent in the Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony. Serving tea to parents and elder relatives is a way of showing respect.

According to Jubilee Lau, the traditional celebration starts when the groom arrives at the bride's home. When her parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles are seated, the couple begins serving tea to all. They kneel before each relative, starting with the grandparents and parents, continuing on with their older relatives, and ending with their older siblings. Each guest is addressed formally, as third aunt, second uncle, etc., while the bride and groom, using both hands, offer each a cup of steaming tea. In return, the young couple receives red envelopes stuffed with money or jewelry.

The tea ceremony is repeated after the nuptials. Morgan Doan told me that the types of tea served depend on personal taste. Favorites are black dragon, orange blossom, and classic green tea. The tea is sweetened by adding two red dates and lotus seeds. Dates and seeds are said to bring good fortune to the bride and groom for producing children. Women who assist the couple are chosen because they either have long, happy marriages or are well off.

As the Chinese have adapted to life in the US, so have their customs. One bride told me that in order not to spend the entire day serving tea but wanting to share this beautiful tradition with their western guests, tea was only offered to the parents and grandparents immediately following the ceremony. Learn more about Chinese customs at
www.chcp.org/wed2.html.