Question:
We are having a small wedding of 60 guests. Our only attendants will be a matron of honor and a best man. Who would be the appropriate people to ask to perform the duties of ushers?

Answer from Jubilee Lau:
Jubilee Lau Events
Asking people to take on the usher duties is an honor to them as well, so select those who are close to you and your fiancé. It is often helpful to select ushers who are familiar with both sides of the family so they can seat them appropriately.

Question: We are having a small wedding of 60 guests, with only a matron of honor and a best man. Who could we ask to perform the duties of ushers?

Answer from Jubilee Lau
Jubilee Lau Events
Dear Lori,
Asking someone to take on the usher duties is an honor to them as well, so select people who are close to you and your fiancé. It is often helpful to select ushers who are familiar with both sides of the family so they can seat them in their appropriate pews.
Thank you for addressing your question to By Recommendation Only.
Regards, Jubilee

Question: We would greatly appreciate your expertise in the process of making sure an officiant is legal. We are going to be married in Santa Clara County and would like a cousin to perform the ceremony. Our cousin is an out-of-state resident. Is there any way she can be certified online to perform the ceremony? Is there a way she can be certified through the county? Your expertise is much appreciated! 

Answer from Johanna- By Recommendation Only
My son just applied for a license to perform a ceremony. Here is his answer.

A couple with a valid wedding license may choose to have a friend or relative specially deputized to perform their wedding ceremony. To make this happen, the individual who will perform the ceremony can be deputized as a "One-Time Deputy Marriage Commissioner" To apply, this person should bring current government-issued identification, such as a passport or driver's license, to the County Clerk's Office during Marriage License business hours. The application requires the following information: the bride's and groom's names, the date and location of the wedding ceremony, and the county in which the bride and groom will purchase the marriage license. The appointment is valid for the specified wedding only and is valid through 6 days after the wedding date in the event of a date change. The fee for this service is $75.00, payable by cash, check, or debit card (a $2.50 convenience fee applies). Santa Clara County Website

Question: I have a question I am hoping you can help me with.  My fiancé and I are getting married in August.  Each of us has asked 6 people to stand up in our wedding.  One of my bridesmaids is actually my fiancé’s family friend.

The bridesmaid recently informed me that she will not be able to be in the wedding. We do have one junior bridesmaid in addition to the 5 remaining bridesmaids.

The junior bridesmaid is 9 years old. Can she walk down the aisle with one of the groomsmen?  My initial reaction is no, but I thought I would ask. My alternative is to ask someone else to stand up, but how can I ask someone at this point since 4 months have passed since we got engaged?  Or, my fiancé could ask one of the groomsmen to step down to be an usher. 

None of the options "feel" great.  Do you have any suggestions?

Thanks,
Tracy  

Answer from Johanna- By Recommendation Only
Hi Tracy,
We just had a similar situation at my son's wedding.
Please watch the video to see the appropriate procession order. If you have a flower girl and/or a ring bearer, they would walk down before the bride. A big thanks to Scott Strimple of United Wedding Productions, who edited this part of the video for us.

The order of the procession to the altar is:
The  groomsmen walk in pairs, followed by bridesmaids walking alone, followed by the junior bridesmaid, then  and the maid of honor, and finally the bride accompanied by her father.

The order of the recessional is:
The married couple, then, the Junior Bridesmaid, and then each groomsman with a bridesmaid. Given your situation, your last bridesmaid will be accompanied by two groomsmen. The junior bridesmaid walks alone.

Good luck!
Johanna

Question: My Fiance's mother passed on this year and now I have no idea how to have his father walk down the aisle or with him to walk with. My fiance's sister is one of my bridesmaids so I don't know if I'm suppose to have her walk down with her father in place of her mother because of this. I was thinking of having my Fiance's Godmother escort his father down the aisle but I'm not sure if that is the right way to do it. Should I have my Fiance's sister escort their father down the aisle or keep her with the rest of the bridal party?? Or will it be alright to have my Fiance's Godmother to escort his father down the aisle?? I'm sooooo confused!!!
 

Answer from Jubilee Lau
Jubilee Lau Events
Dear Bride-to-be,
I am sure this has been a difficult year for your fiancé's family, and I can understand your concerns and confusion on the right protocols for the ceremony. However, keep in mind that the ceremony should not be dictated by any “rules or guidelines” unless you are getting married at a church and your Pastor has very specific instructions. First of all, you should find out if your fiancé's father wants to be escorted down the aisle. Sometimes parents are uncomfortable in being a part of the processional and would rather take a seat prior to the ceremony. If his father does want to be a part of the Processional, then you and your fiancé can discuss possible candidates with him to see which one he would feel most comfortable with. If your fiancé is very close to his father, perhaps the two of them can walk down the aisle together side by side. You can also have your fiancé's sister escort the father as well, and then walk back to join the rest of the bridal part for the processional. That is not unusual at all, and may make your fiancé's father feel better about having his own son or daughter be next to him as he walks down the aisle.
No matter what the decision is, I am sure your fiancé and his family will appreciate your consideration for such a sensitive time in their family!
Best of luck to you!
Jubilee Lau, JWIC
 

Question: We are getting married in two weeks in Hawaii and do not have a bridal party. Here is something we forgot to think of... What do we do about the rings? Who holds them until it is time to exchange them? We have 25 guests attending, but they will all be seated during the ceremony. Is it customary to have the judge hold the rings or should we have our nephew be a ring bearer?
Thank you for your help!

Answer from Jubilee Lau
Jubilee Lau Events
Since you do not have a wedding party, it is definitely appropriate to have your officiant hold on to the rings. Having your nephew be the ring bearer would also be a good solution as children always add a little more fun to the processional. Keep in mind, however, that if your nephew is very young, he may be intimidated to be the only ‘wedding party’ for the ceremony.
Best of luck to you!
Jubilee Lau, JWIC

Question: Hi, I'm only having my 2 sisters and my fiancé's 1 brother in our wedding party. I have been in a lot of my friends weddings, as well as my cousins wedding and have gained some other close friends too. I am also the Godmother of my cousins daughter. I would like to know how I can include some of my friends and definitely my cousin in my "Jewish" wedding? Anything you suggest would be helpful. Thank you!

Answer from Kim Oliff
Always r.s.v.p.*
There are many ways to incorporate you dear friends and family into your Jewish Wedding. You can ask 4 people to be your Chuppah Holders. They would walk down the aisle before the wedding party, and each hold one pole of the Chuppah throughout the entire ceremony. This would be a wonderful honor. You could also ask one of your guests to help pass out yarmulkes before the ceremony. Another person could pass out wedding programs if you are doing them. You will need to have a witness to sign your wedding license, as well as a witness to sign your Ketubah. These are 2 special honors to give to 2 special people.

If you have any grandparents in the wedding that are widows, one of your special friends could escort him/her down the aisle to their seat. Jewish weddings are all about family and friends being a part of the Jewish traditions, and I think that any of the "jobs' that I mentioned would be a huge honor for the people that mean so much to you. If you are having an Orthodox or very conservative wedding, I would certainly consult with a rabbi before making any of these choice.
Best of luck and Mazel Tov!!! Kim

Question: Please give me the order of the processional for a Christian wedding including parents and grandparents entrance and seating. If there is a picture or a chart that would be helpful also. Thanks.

Answer from Tosca Clark, Wedding Planner
Tosca Productions
Most weddings are personal and many prefer to do a variation of the following traditional Christian processional.

1. Clergy member
2. Groom
3. Best Man
4. Groomsmen
5. Bridesmaids
6. Honor attendant
7. Ring Bearer
8. Flower Girl
9. Bride and Father

This will vary depending on a Catholic, Protestant, formal, informal wedding, or even
if there are children are younger than five years old. Your location will also dictate the order of the procession proceed. If you do not have a professional wedding coordinator, consult
with your officiant. Hope this helps you with your celebration.